|
|
Je M'appelle votre Oublié.
|
|
|
You're the echoes of my everything,
you're the emptiness the whole world sings at night |
|
|
|
|
you're the laziness of afternoon,
you're the reason why I burst |
|
|
|
|
and why I bloomed.
You're the leaky sink of sentiment,
the failed attempts I never could forget.
you're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend
this curse that I call love. |
|
|
|
| and I
| | threw her arms around my head. Well show me how you do it, and I you, I promise that I'll run away with you.
|
| [ |
userinfo |
| |
livejournal userinfo |
] |
| [ |
calendar |
| |
livejournal calendar |
] |
|
|
|
|
[03 Apr 2005|03:32pm] |
MY COMPUTERS AT MY MOMS HOUSE SUCKS. IT DOESNT LET ME LOG INTO LIVEJOURNAL, SO NOT ONLY CAN I NOT UPDATE, BUT I CAN'T READ ANY UPDATES. I MADE A NEW JOURNAL TO USE FROM SUNDAYS - WEDNESDAYS UNTIL MY COMPUTER GETS FIXED. I STILL HAVE XDAY_TIME_DRAMA, DON'T DELETE IT. I MIGHT ADD PEOPLE ON MY OWN, BUT GO ADD ME ANYWAY.
___fuckyoulush
___fuckyoulush
___fuckyoulush
___fuckyoulush
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 5 girls from class to touch
|
|
|
[23 Dec 2004|08:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Hello Goodbye |
] |
ACCESS DENIED!</p>
 That's right, this shit is FRIENDS ONLY
You know the Deal.
Comment First, don't make me waste time trying to figure out who you are.
Add Me First. You don't I wont.
I'll add you Back. maybe.
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 44 girls from class to touch
|
|
| i've made it to christmas. |
[23 Dec 2004|03:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
impatient |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dad playing guitar |
] |
I suppose the way I see it, if you can make it to christmas you can make it to the end. It's been really hard and I've had a lot of shit to deal with from the begining of school until now, but if I've made it this far, I can make it to the end. ::Grins:: and you know what, it doesnt feel like christmas.
today was teacher for a day. i gave my test to ms wurmbrand and then I went to hamilton. I hung around first period in mr wisnowskis room with taylor and laura. second period me and ms. hamilton were at the front desk doing attendance crap and I gave matt karpe a hard time and we had free cake. ha. third was the party and I ate a part of a bagel, but I couldnt eat anymore because I have big cuts in my mouth from biting down on the sides when I sneezed, so it hurt a lot to eat. so me and beata walked around the halls. bothered mr. tobin, went to the teachers lounge. got a coke, sat around. went back to the party. visited mr. leddy and it was fun because I love that man. we went to ms. ryans room and I tried to make a snowflake but i'm retarded and nick made fun of me. haha god i love nick, he's so awesome. so fourth period I had class to teach, my class actually. we played jeopardy and I yelled at everyone and pete couldnt play because he has missing labs. I yelled at lot and asked people "if they thought I was joking, I AM NOT A FUNNY PERSON!" I sent mike to the corner and made him shove his nose against the wall and wear a dunce cap. beata came in to visit me and she took mike into the hallway and beat the crap out of him. mm fun.<3 then me and beata talked on the teacher phones. then I had a class and I yelled a bit more, I yelled at Nick sagos and david and I shoved them in corners. fun. seventh I had lunch so I ate in the teachers cafateria with all the cool kids. haha you know dr. lamia, mr. gordon, ms maurer. =] then i went to the teachers lounge to get myself yet another coke. I walked around, went and talked to nick again and he begged me to save him, then I went to fullertons room and hung around with beata. then went back to the classroom, and me and beata talked on the teachers phone some more. 8th period the class was jsut doing a project so there wasnt much for me to do. i just hung around talking to brigid, mike, alexa, marcin, eh eh eh so on. ninth period i had mike portoles the little shit, so i spent the period talking to alex and erich and I think I asked a blind kid if he's seen someone. =-X I went out into the halls and saw a kid walking by and I asked if he had seen a really really big kid. and his eyes were all squinty and i'm pretty sure theres a blind kid in the sixth grade and uhm, wow, I felt real bad. haha. Ms. hamilton gave me a gift certificate to best buy, that's real sweet. i went on the bus and god. i hate the people there. thebus driver said this whole spiel about having a merry christmas and it was real sweet. nikki decided to "show off" on the ride home by singing, but uhm, yeah she cant. she was offkey and sharp as shit the entier time. it hurt.
merry christmas, assholes.
I think I'm going to the mall with "everybody" tonight. it's odd how the phrase everybody changes so often. mmm...
comment unless you're a stupid mother fucking whore who's just going to piss me off by staying stupid fucking things. go fucking kill yourself if you will.
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 5 girls from class to touch
|
|
| i know you well enough to know you never loved me. |
[21 Dec 2004|04:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 groggy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
death cab |
] |
I just woke up from the nap I didnt know i was taking. I feel so out of it. Alright, first period i slept in my little corner of the room, and in second i wsa hoping on sleeping again, but noo, we're in the computer room. she loves that place way too much, i hate it. i sat there for half an hour twiddling my thumbs. in studio me and beata sat on the heater for about ten minutes doing nothing, then i decided i'm ditching my old project and i'm going to start entirely new tommorow. it's a cute idea, but I dont draw it well. in earth science ms. hamilton loved my referal, haha, and we spent the first while of the period doing an entire thing of class gossip. haha it was enjoyable. then we had a lab and kyle and pete drew boobs all over the textbook and ms. hamilton saw. Oh god. Hurray for boobies? in tech me and kathleen didnt know what we were doing so I sat there singing death cab for cutie while we realized if you double click a word on the screen then it says it outloud, so we hit the word 'scottie' about six hundred times. english was a lot of fun, but it always is. we had to deisgn a corss country course for our homeework so i scribbled a few lines and made a stick figure with spikey hair and labeled it "hot cross country guy" and oh yeah, dibello loved it. and then we discussed hot guys in her second period class last year. haha. in woodworking I didnt do much of anything except ask people who asked by if "all those girls in all their girly magazines make them feel any less alone" i confused the shit out of them. in math juan was asleep and kyle started to laugh, so pete started to laugh, so i started to laugh, and ms wurmbrand was getting so mad. teh. after school was the meeting for the play. god so many people i hate are trying out. i hope they get stuck in the chorus. ^-^ after the meeting we hung around talking to dibello and maurer it's been far too long. my auditions on the fourth, mm fun, can't wait. then i came home and my sister decided she wanted to be hitler, as usual. so i fell asleep.
you know you have a burning desire in the crotch of your pants to comment.
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 9 girls from class to touch
|
|
| this is fact not fiction... |
[20 Dec 2004|08:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pensive |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
death cab |
] |
I sat in my room for hours with the stereo blarring, scribbling pretty words in a blue marble notebook, scratching out little hearts into margins. Wondering what the fuck is it all for? there's got to be more to life then a pencil hitting the paper. there's got to be. Those pretty words won't mean a thing come tommorow, none of this will. Broken hearts wont mend and liars won't change their ways. in a few years it won't matter if i sat in the back of an english class room making monkey sounds, or I listened to every word intently. It won't matter that I spent a friday night back in june at the mall, it won't matter if I wore knee socks instead of ankle socks. So why do I waste my time? There has to be more out there then what I'm getting from all this. I can spend my days writing word after word, singing song after song, but it won't make it any better unless I fucking stand up to the things i believe in, and fight for the things I love.
Thinking through it, I'm more partial to my dads house over my moms. Everyone always says my moms is so safe, and cozy, and warm. That's just my problem. It's so small and warm, and homey. Bright color, drawings on the walls, cats curling at your feet. It encloses you and it has to be home, home or bust. My room has bright colors and my paintings and marilyn monroe pictures all over the wall. Blankets and cute rugs, books spewing out of the book shelves. At my dads, it feels like you have to get up and move in four hours. Their is no carpet that you'll find anywhere in the house. the walls are bare and the house is cold. all i have in my room is a low to the ground bed, a computer,a tv that always remains off, a vcr that remains unplaying, a stereo that remains blarring, a few books i read over and over as a child but now never touch, a kurt cobain poster on the wall, and useless junk spewing out of the closet. It feels so distant and like it's only the place to stay during the night. Like i'm not supposed to be there during the day. It's like soliders, they got out on the battle field everyday, but come back to their fort each night. I am a solider, the world is my battle field, i'll fight my fights, i'll find my rare victories, I'll face my defeat with my bleeding wounds. but every night i'll come back to that place for coverage. ::shruggs:: they say love is a battlefield.
comment, for the love of god. even if it's just to say Hi, just let me know there are others out there, people wondering what lifes point really effing is, people as confused as I am, people that are breathing.
just send me something I can feel...
oh yeah, and lets recap how I'm beginging to resent holidays.
after this year i officially fucking hate halloween.
thanksgiving I had about 8 people in my house i didnt know, and my dad didnt have thanksgiving.
christmas we have to go to my aunts house and my dads friends are coming over for christmas eve.
FUCKING FUN? yeah, fucking no.
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 30 girls from class to touch
|
|
| stolen idea. good idea. |
[20 Dec 2004|04:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
truthful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
senses fail<3/straylightrun<3 |
] |
just did this big long thing,and it all got earased, I got everything out and felt relaly good, so i'm really annoyed. so here goes again. stole this idea from someone on my friends list and I really like it.
1. Choose 15 people from your friends list at random.
2. Write something about/to each of them.
3. Dont tell anyone who the statements are about. Good or bad. No matter how they beg!
1.I love you. whole heartidily love you.
2. I love you. you're amazing, never change.
3. I love you. you're amazing. never change.
haha those three were easy, out of all the people in the world there are three i whole heartidily love and care about and never want to lose. =-/ moving on.
4. you piss me off. so bad. so goddamn bad. I hate the things you say and how you can never fucking be nice and I hate the things you fucking say. I blame so many of my mishappenings on you, I mean sure, it's probably not your fault, but i can still sure as hell blame you. I wish you werent around. I wouldnt mind if I never met you. Harsh? ehh a little.
5. you never update anymore, and not as if you were one to read other peoples updates anyway, you were too cool for that, and i love you for it. you're an amazing person, and you have your own little fan club, following you around squeeling and throwing panties at your feet. haha i was definatly in that club in sixth grade. i barely see you anymore and it makes me kind of sad? but theres something i always wished I could tell you, well not always, just recently. move on, pal. She's just going to hurt you like she always has and always will, you deserve so much better then her and you could get so much better. she'll always hurt you and it's not like you've seen anything else. but it's cute that you hang on.<3
6. you never update either, and you were never one to read peoples updates. but Hey, guess what. i hate your guts. it was never my choice to be friends with you, and i never liked you too much. you're dirty, and you should really start showering and using deodorant. you smell really badly of body odor, not even joking. you have a gross infection around your mouth, and your hair looks like a skunk.
7. you follow me around and it's a little weird. a little very wierd. you're weird and you've gotta step off, a lot.
8. you're gorgeous. haha first person that caught my eye and you're a great guy.
9. You call me your best friend, but it seems you're only my friend when you need me. when it's convient to you. if you need someone, oh I'll call Olivia, if not it's like oh, fuck it whogives a shit. it doesnt work like that, grow up a little and then get back to me. sounds good.
10. you creep me out. alot.
11. stop being such a drama queen, you don't know love, depression, or pain. you're a nice kid, but god, stop it with the fucking drama, no one likes it. stop begging for attention, and once you know what pain is, then get back to me and feel free to complain.
12. i barely know you, but you try so hard to be something you're not and I hate it. I don't trust you completely, but god you rip me off. stop trying so hard and be yourself.
13. you're an amazing person and I wish you knew i miss you and if it came down to it, i'd take a bullet for you. I love it how you befriended the little kids. i used to want to be like you, kind of. but without eve having to say anything you showed me that it's way cooler to be yourself. I wish I could tell you to slow down, it seems you've grown up too fast. I mean one second i know you, and the next i just dont, you're going out doing things i'd never imagine. but i see you every once in a while, and those times are cool. you're great, please never change.<3
14. okay, i cant remember who i yelled at last time, so i'll do something else. I love you, i really do. i didnt like you in fifth grade when i met you a few times, and i thought you were like Ohhmyygazzzzzz and then in sixth grade when i found out you liked dashboard i was like WHAT? i miss having classes with you, you stinky hoe.<3 haha that one knows who it was directed at.
15. I miss how tight we used to be. I wish I could say certain things to you that I can't. I wish i could tell you exactly whats on my mind, and I wish I could ask you things I've been wondering. I wish we were how we used to be, I wish we never drifted apart. i wish I knew just what happened. Yeah, i miss you.
there might be a repeat or two in there... the first time i wrote it all it was better, but ackjdfkajdf, what can you do.
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 10 girls from class to touch
|
|
| I could have been someone, but so could anyone. |
[20 Dec 2004|02:49pm] |
"Who cares if we're apart for the big days, it's the small ones that made me fall in love with you." aw.
school was school. cold. I slept threw second period and we had a sub for earth science, so did close no work, but i stole kyle sheet and gave myself soundeffects "yoink!" I'm so retarded. then for the second half of the period we had mr. alexander. so I saw this as the perfect oppertunity to not do my work, so i ran to the front of the room to bother him. he grabbed a referal slip and found a way to mark me on all of the offenses except having drugs. haha he's awful. so i wrote my rebuttle saying "mr. alexander is a big old meanie and you shouldnt believe anything he says because he loves me." in lunch i had to grift for money because i lost mine. =-/ in gym we lost terribly with everything we did and i blamed it all on bleeding from my vagina. in english i babbled to ms dibello that if me and beata were mutes we'd still find ways to be louder then the rest of my class, then i had to do my monkey sounds. we read a poem and i really liked a part of it, and i saved it.
We Are the dead, short days ago
we lived, felt dawn,
saw sunset glow.
loved and were loved, and now we lie
in Flanders fields.
-flanders fields by John Mcrae
I don't know, i liked it. she ended class early so me and beata talked to dibello about the play. =] auditions soon. eep. =] in woodworking I got sawdust in my eye about 8 bajillion times and well, i'm really bad at using power tools. eh, what are you going to do? I hate algebra alot and in math i entirely spaced out drawing. with ten minutes left of class me and pete sat there trying to catch our pens in our mouths from over our lip then getting them back on our lip. thats all i did during math last year. I have to go to the eye doctor later, and christmas is in five dys. okay tahts it.
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 2 girls from class to touch
|
|
| i'm convinced wondering what if is the worst thing there is. |
[19 Dec 2004|10:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
straylight run. |
] |
I think I have homework I should be doing, but evidently I am not doing it. Tonight has been filled with making two journals for people, and it was hard to multi task, so i was getting annoyed and stressed, but they came out pretty alright, so thats good. After that it's been filled up with listening to pointless voicemails from John that he's been leaving me. funny kid, very funny kid. i think i'm the only kid in the world who hates snow. a snow day would be fun and all, no school, I can dig that, but I just hate snow, and it lasts for ever, everything is wet, and that signals that everything is dead. dead. dead. ack, I hate it. haha now it's my turn to leave john a pointless voice mail, so i shall end this.
<3
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 2 girls from class to touch
|
|
| its begining to smell of christmas. |
[19 Dec 2004|07:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pensive |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
annoying barking on a commercial. |
] |
I love having lovely conversations with lovely people. I really just love lovely people.
today when my mother got home we drove around trying to find a spicehouse so she could buy erics christmas present, but we couldnt find it. we were in new hyde park? I believe. it was a lovely place. the streets were a little dirty, but the archectiture of places was beautiful. there was a mcdonalds, and it was a big old house pushed back. It did not look like a mcdonalds. it had large neon signs and balconies all over, it was beautiful. we couldnt find the place, so we just went to roosevelt. in the car i tried to get my mom to play the penis game, but she would say it quietly and just tell me I won. walking in the parking lot a car decided to almost hit us, so i screamed "HEY WERE GLIDING HERE" my mother found it amusing. we went to H+m to try and find the jacket that i wanted, but they didnt have it which was a let down, but i found one in delias and its green and corderoy. whats not to like. we went back to hm and tried to find sweatshirts, but they were all friggen tiny. we were walking threw the corridors of the mall and my mom wanted to pants gangsters who wore them pants to their knees so bad, but she my dismany she restricted herself from doing so. then we went to michaels, the one by roosevelt, not the one in levittown. it was so dirty and all the people who worked there were a little off. on the ride home i starred out the window watching the world pass me back. all the neon signs lighting up the dark wet streets. i looked inside of windows seeing how others were spending their night. i looked into a laundromat shoved with people. two boys in the corner playing the arcade games, ladies folding laundry and chatting, a little girl stomping and taking cough medacine. it made me wonder what life has to offer and what is there out there, i mean theres got to be more then what i'm getting. it also helped me conclude why I resent most the people in my grade. No one thinks like me or cares about anything. All they care about is which rapper has the best body, or who has the coolest clothes. I mean, don't get me wrong, I cream over guys with an outragous smile and spend a lot of my time at the mall, but at least I care about the things around me and I Have compasion and i wonder 'what if' constantly and I pray for better days.
I'm ranting.
"i've wasted more time dreaming then living."
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 2 girls from class to touch
|
|
| your tongue is a rudder that steers the whole ship...sends words past your lips.. |
[19 Dec 2004|11:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
nostalgic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
BrandNew<3 |
] |
to sum this up, brand new does things to me, I wish I could say certain things that I can't, and this town is full of dumb reminders.
to embelish on those facts...
Okay, Brand New does things to me, I'm not sure what it does and if it's a negative or positive effect, but either way..take me. the slow songs just.. I'm not sure. the upbeat ones make me want to dance and scream and sing, I mean lyrics like "give me one night between your thighs a million girls would kill to be you right now" I mean as wrong as that may be, it makes me want to scream and dance on the couch kicking off all of the pillows. and If I wasnt so exhausted, I would do that after this track is over.
"your tongue is a rudder that steers the whole ship, sends your words passed your lips, keeps them safe behind your teeth. the wrong words will strand you come off course while you sleep."
I wonder if I told everyone what I really think of them what they'd really say. I wish I told everyone i'm try so hard to be nice to that I hate their stinkin' guts, just what they'd said. I wonder what if i went up to all the people know i Hate them and said "I hate yer fucking guts, yah hear?" I wonder what they'd say. I wonder if I went up to the people I like but think I hate them and said "I dont hate you, you're a cool kid." what they'd say. I wish I could go up to the few people in this world I Love and just say "Hey, I love you, you know. you're an amazing person, never forget it, and I never want to loose touch with you, okay?" I wonder if they'd say they loved me too.
"this town is full of dumb reminders." everywhere I look something new reminds me of something I don't want to be reminded of, or of something I want! to be reminded of, but it's best that I'm not. I love this town, I hate to say it but I do, I know the streets, I love the streets. I love the look of the orange trees vs. the purple skies. I love the graying pavement of the streets, and I love the main roads. I love how "we slip through the streets while everyone sleeps". but sometimes you just need something new! anything new! This town holds too much about me, knows too much about me. I don't know what i want, becuse I dont want to start over, but I dont know what i want.
Christmas is soon, thank god. Maybe with the coming and going, things will change. Maybe things will get better, maybe I can forget about the things i want to forget, all the things I want to forget. Maybe things will mend and sticks will fall into place without me having to pick up the pieces.
Come on, I hate snow so I dont want a white christmas, just do this one thing for me...
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 2 girls from class to touch
|
|
| Merry Fricken' Christmas. |
[18 Dec 2004|04:43pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Patent Pending/Hidden in Plain View/ Prize Fighter |
] |
alright, todays fine. me and beata walked to get bagels for the first time in a really long time. we walked there making fun of lisps, hahahah. after about ten minutes of that we had started talking with lisps accidently and had to talk really slowly to make sure that we didnt. sat in the bagel place for a really long time, long enough for beata to really slowly eat 2 bagels [cough pig].
then I came home, sat around for a really long time. finally we were doing the christmas tree. I thought I had to do it alone, and that was saddening. I'm used to loud music, fire place burning, and all of us yelling at each other. but no, none of that. My sisters best friend put it the best "hey, when you get back from decorating your sad little charlie brown christmas tree alone, can you tell me when ur sister gets home?" haha okay that made me laugh. I dont do christmas tree lights, I just dont. So I sat on the couch while my dad did them, and i decided i want to be a bitch so I whined about how the tree looks dead. Then my dad as done and YAY VANILLA COKE. sorry, my dad just gave me vanilla coke ::shruggs:: i got excited. but yes, anyway, I did the tree, and deb helped which was nice. she got me green bulbs, she also got me pink and purple ones, so thats cool. all of our "cool" balls are gone after last year masacre. Last year bob knocked over the tree somehow because shes dumb and all our old balls were broken. also because when my mom and dad divorced my mom took most of the odd old decorations, which I love. but we have guitar christmas lights, which I think is pretty damn "rad". I found out half way threw decorating my little tree that my dads friends were coming over for christmas eve, you could hear how pissed i was when I found out. haha, I'm sorry but I cant help it, christmas eve was always my family. but whatever, just going to shrugg it off. the few times my dad came downstairs he would start a fight with deb, it was kind of funny. Deb always hangs to hang this weird pickle, yes pickle on the tree. so my dad said why and she said it's a german tradition and none of us are german. deb said she was and my dad told her she pulled nationalities out of her ass and fought with her over ten minutes while i stood there behind the tree laughing making faces to my dad. i had so many issues trying to get things on the tree. I'm too short for christmas.
a few christmases ago was the best. our tree was this huge, monogloid of a tree. We threw all these odd ass "decorations" on it. We went into our rooms and pulled out anything we found. We threw beanie babies in crevices of the tree and then we found some old rope and tied action figures from nooses on our tree. Does that make us weird? no, but that was the most awesome tree...ever. Yes, I do think it's safe to say we're the physocitc family on the block. there aint no party like the DeJohn party.
haha yeah okay, i think i'm done.
<33333333
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 2 girls from class to touch
|
|
| shop 'till you drop, mutha fuckas. |
[17 Dec 2004|08:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 well i'm smiling + exhausted. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The prize Fight<3, Last chance diares<3, Bjork[haha, laugh.] |
] |
Wow, I'm exhausted. went christmas shopping today with my one and only? no, no I went with Beata. it was fun at first, saw many people, but by the end of the night we were ready to throw the towel in. the best part of the mall is always getting there, walking there in the freezing cold and running across streets getting hit on by forgien men, got to love it? so we got there, so kelly, lora, jessica, talked to them for a while, then went and saw britt, cait, nina. went around everywhere and bought presents. i still forgot one present and i'm broke. =-/ i sat on the floor in target counting quarters, i had to pay in change. whoops. went and sat at starbux for a minute and a half and went on the sadest quest in the world threw my bag for money for bawls, but then we saw Marc, Richie, and Brendan. Marc gave me money for bawls. =] =] =] yay,thankyousoveryfriggenmuch<3. we went up to the food court to say Hi to jerry, talked to him for a little, saw james and bob? went and talked to marc richie and brendan for a little. marc had snot in his nose and pen on his face, and rich wasnt talkative. marc liked his pizza all over so beata wouldnt want it, but she wanted it anyway. then we went and met up with jillian, we talked to jessica and nancy for a while. found jill, went to target and so on for a while. we were in gizmos and gadgets and there was these people in the 'porno section' and the lady was like thats for adults, and the girl said "i am a goddamn adult, want to see my id?" i took a double take and went, 'holy shit, i know her.' so I said 'dianna?' and she was just so confused and said yes? and itold her i was geris daughter, shes my moms friends niece, we hung when we were younger. she said i looked like a senior, haha how awesome. we stood there talking for like ten minutes. jill got presents she needed, we talked to robbie, then she left. me and beata finished up our shopping, saw cool ass people like kenny, greg, tom, justin, paul and andrew, trisha, amd a bunch of other people? we got so sick of being at the mall after a while that we walked around finding random places to sit and talk, moving every now and then. my dad was coming at 930 when he picked my sister up and wouldnt come before that, so we had to wait and we just counted down the hours. we called beatas dad a few times, and finally he picked up when we were about ready to kill ourselves, and he came and picked us up. thank god. so he brought the two seater car, of course. i was on bottom and beata was on top and her dad started to drive the wrong way and i couldnt breath and of course she starts tickling me because she knows i hate it. i'm too ticklish. =-/ so yeah, i'm finally home. thankgod, and i'm in a pretty good mood now. before i was in a foulish mood for nothing, but then i came home and now i'm happy. i dont see why people need big things to make them overjoyed, i mean i love the little things. i fucking love them. <33333
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 8 girls from class to touch
|
|
| Hey Lush have fun, it's the weekend. |
[17 Dec 2004|03:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 freezing toes. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
odd songs in my head. |
] |
Okay, wasting time, here's an update.
first period I entertained myself in weird ways. I got mr fullerton to say cock, Okay, he said "cocky" but it still has cock. When he asked why yellow journalism was a cause of the spanish american war I raised my hand said "because they got pissed" and he was very reluctant to repeat it back to me. then we looked at a political cartoon and uncle sam had gotten huge because of imperalism and mr. fullerton asked what the message was so i waved my hand in the air and yelled "THAT NEW STATES GO STRAIGHT TO YOUR HIPS!" i entertain myself.
in spanish me and raspreet discused insanely random thing and mike coughed all over my back.
in art ms ryan wouldnt play my jamison parker cd and we had to do prespective, I dont like prespective.
In science we had a bus drill and the guy couldnt speak english. then pete left us for another group because he's gay. we finished our lab, made fun of legwarmers coming back, ms. hamilton forgot to bring in the cd player so we couldnt listen to jamison parker there either.
someone stole my lock, so i had to go get one from my gym locker, whatever. then i was late for tech so i had to spend ten minutes explaining myself to mr. swanson. then me and kathleen did something we shouldnt have and we fucked everything up, and we laughed hysterically about it.in english i whined about everything to ms dibello, everything from I have a hole in my shoe to I forgot my pen in mr. swansons room. I later found my pen in my pocket. heh. =] ms dibello made infernces about sex again, god i love her.
in woodworking i finished using the band saw then dean sat in my stool and i told him to get up and he wouldnt, so i pulled it out from under him and he fell to the ground. haha mr. gordon got so mad and took the stool away, but it was so worth it to watch dean fall. in math i finished a test, yadda yadda yadda. on the bus home i felt so bad for stark because i shoved him in the seat and pretty much isolated him from people, and hes one of the only people on that bus i can stand, but i even told him i do believe i'm doing him a favor.
i'm waiting for beata to get done eating [yeah, when is she ever done, right?] then we're going christmas shopping?
speaking of christmas shopping I got that green track jacket my dad wouldnt buy me for christmas. =] I came home and their was a package blocking the door, and i was just going to kick it and walk in the door, but then I thought "heheh it's christmas season =)" and looked at the package, it said karmaloop and that was the website. i left it on the couch and then when my dad got home ten minutes later he came down and said "i thought i ordered a meduim but i ordered a small, try it on and pretend you never saw it." good thing he ordered the small though, because the sleeves are still too long. HAHA YEAH I'M SHORT FUCK YOU. =]
my toes are cold, i'm kind of hungry. christmas shopping soon with very little money. =-/?
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 4 girls from class to touch
|
|
| it's testing the strong ones and scarring the beautiful ones. |
[16 Dec 2004|07:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
RandyNewman-ShortPeopleGotNoReasonToLive<-That upsets me. ha |
] |
Go outside and look at the moon, it looks so hazy and beautiful.
Go out side and look at the stars.
Wish on one for me while I wish on one for you.
If I ever find myself back in your arms...
I'll know that love is completely real.
<3
short and pointless.
|
|
girls from class to touch
|
|
| you're never gonna get it right.. |
[16 Dec 2004|03:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
dizzy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Brand New-Jude Law And The Semester Abroad |
] |
i feel like shit, i feel like dying. I am all dizzy and lightheaded and my neck hurts something awful, so if you'd just kill me now..yeah that'd be good, that'd be great. that'd be real great. i dont know why i'm writing this instead of passing out on my bed, but i'm in an awful mood SO I'M FUCKING UPDATING, GOOD KAY?
for one thing, my sisters bird died yesterday, she got home and there was only one in her cage and when she asked my dad he said "oh, I thought I was going to get home before you." and she said to me trying to sound all sarcastic "What? was he going to try and replace it?" yeah, she hasnt had them for very long, but i could tell she was sad about it.
As I said I feel like shit so I fell all hot and dizzy so I opened a window, my dad came home and screamed at me because "he's working hard as it is to pay for to heat this house." yeah, i feel like shit, so fuck you. so then he came into my room and started to yell at me, and i'm already in a bad fucking mood so thanks for helping dad, I appriciate it.
Okay, and starter to the bad mood, they got the fucking christmas tree with out me. again. for the second year in a row. last year they decided to go out and get one with out me and i was so mad and i yelled at my dad. and last week or the week before I asked my dad "hey, when are we getting the tree?" then today when i was coming home from the bus I thought to myself "dude, last year they bought the tree without me, it would suck so much if I walked through the door right now and saw a tree." go fucking figure, i walk threw the door, and they bought a tree without me. Ugliest tree I've ever seen. i was so mad.
you know you're dying to know how my day was. this morning my sister came into my room and gave me a watch from the cereal box. haha how cool is that? well I felt like shit all day. first period we had shiney face as a sub so me kyle and beata sat in the back of the room going "MEH HEH!" and we were the only people in the entire class talking and we were talking loud because we're fun people like that. needless to say, we got no work done what so ever. in spanish i wanted so badly to just go to sleep because i felt like shit, but ms. masteroni kept keeping me awake. in art i sat around in my sweater and scarf to whine that I was cold. in science we did a lab and we got to listen to the cure, how awesome is that? we begged hamilton to let us go get beatas guilt like gravity cd but she said no and knowing my love of the cure said "i have a cure cd if you would like.." haha so of course I said yeahhhh! and she put it on, i sat on the table listening to the cure while everyone else did work? awesome? very. in gym i felt like shit so i did very little of anything. in english we spent half the period agrueing a test answer with dibello. in woodworking i walked around aimlessly going to the "bathroom" just because i needed to waste time because i needed to keep moving. in math we had a test, i hit pete in the face with a chalk board eraser and he hit me on the sleeve. at the end of the period they finally announced the play. Once On An Island WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SHIT? we were outraged and screaming about it. what the hell is that?? okay, i dont care how gay it is, all of you have to come anyway.
okay, my sisters being a bother and going threw my stuff. thats my cue to leave.
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 12 girls from class to touch
|
|
| analyze my heart in black and white... |
[15 Dec 2004|04:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 uncomfortable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
patent pending/falloutboy |
] |
Haha okay, last night was amusing.
we had to go to burlington. Yay? my sister needed a coat, my mom gave up on hope on trying to make me get a coat. for the best, really. just a waste of money. i ran threw the coat racks and then playing the static electrity game with my sister. we crawled on the floor, and i fell asleep under a coat rack. I got the song "drop it like its hot" stuck in my head for some fucked up reason and ran around singing it. then we went to get a christmas tree and the man thought we were like ten years old. all he saw was we were short and covered in clothing, and fighting. fighting over wether we name the tree mr. tobin or henry the 8th. And I would run and try to cuddle into my sister for warmth and she would scream "MOM!" and the guy said "wow, these two must be quite a handful." hahaha, okay it made us laugh hysterically.
so today first period me and kyle wrote odd ass things on our paper, kind of funny. thank god fullerton didnt collect it. in second period i cant even remember? but spanish is eecchhh. in art we did perspective and poehai said something about dying and beata yelled "NOT EVERYONE DIES, POE-HAI!" and i had to turn around and go "uhm, acutally beata...everything does die." hahao kay we laughed for about ten minutes. pete stole one of my little itty bitty pink gloves in science and then made fun of the way i chew my gum and the way i read. in lunch me and beata went "and i can hear them talk..and them" and well, it amused us for long enough. tech i finally finished my car, thankfriggengod. english was a bunch of nothing and woodworking mr gordon called his computer gay. haha. and i fought joey to put a bandaid on him. fagggg. in math we reviewed and crap and yeah. then i went to science to finish labs that i never did. i pranced around the room in a scarf thats too long and i trip on because i'm so damn short, while singing "it's not a side effect of the cocaine I'm thinking it must be love" by falloutboy. sound productive, eh? haha no, but i finished too over due labs. yay?
Decorating the tree tonight. should be..fun?
myspace is great, ya know?
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 4 girls from class to touch
|
|
| the future freaks me out... |
[14 Dec 2004|03:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Motion City Soundtrack - The Future Freaks Me Out |
] |
my mom has a differnt ways of making you feel bad then telling you you're a fuck up. I'd rather her just say "you're a fuck up and you'll never excel at anything you attempt so fucking give up now." i'd rather her scream and curse at me then what she does. she guilts me and makes me feel like shit and i fucking hate it. I wish she'd just put it in lamenest terms and tell me I'm a fuck up. Yes, Lamenst terms. Beata's so jealous right now because he has his own terms and she doesnt. hahah<3333
"we fail to represent..
we fail to be content..
We fail at everything we ever even try to attempt."
And even more glorious news, christmas is "canceled" as my mom put it. Okay, she was kidding around, but it might as well be. I found out for christmas we have to go to my aunts houes. that makes me really mad. Really mad. I love christmas at my house. not my aunts, not my grammas, not no one but mine. My aunt has no children, nor is she a child, theres no reason for us to have christmas at fucking her house, christmas is gonna fucking suck now. i just found this out now. my mom said something about pigs in blankets and i said how funny it would be if we strung cocktail weenies on our christmas tree. she laughed and told me the house would smell, so i told her we'd do it christmas morning before veryone came over. then the bomb dropped. ::BAM:: i'm in a bad mood now.
this morning i went into school and because of those stupid laptops my desk is gone in social studies. all the seats are changed around and someone is fucking in my seat. i was pissed off so i brought my sorry ass to the back of the room, last seat, last row. i had to finish my DBQ and the entire period i would look up to the poster of the old immigrant man touching himself, and he was starring at me, his big gray eyes starring at me, it was so creepy. in spanish me and raspreet had to do questions so we sat there going "ELSOCCORO!" to every question and laughing at the most innapropriate times. Ms. Masteroni said 'effeeee!" really excitedly and we laughed hysterically at her. then we laughed at brian. then brian gave us names, he called raspreet a scarf and first he called me a flower, then a hippie, then a clown. Oh, aint he sweet? in art i worked on my social studies poister and hten i worked on some early homeworks and whatev. earth science we had to do this graph with a lake and in juans lake i attached it and drew fish that looked like 8's. then i drew fish with big eyes and big teeth in my lake, and then i laughed and thought "it'd be really funny if i drew sperm in my lake" so i drew sperm in my lake. haha. okay, lunch I was really pissed off. stephanie is hands down the worst friend ever. beata wasnt in school so i asked steph to sit with me at lunch. she rolled her eyes and yelled "shes not here AGAIN?" she claims to hate the people she sits with and calls me her best friend, but when i ask her one favor she's all fucking, forget it. so i went the bathroom to kill time, came back and me and kyle went over the areas of the lunch room. the preps, the wanna be preps, and the losers. saying how it's better to sit alone then to have to sacrafice yourself to one of those icky icky tables. then we started laughing and kyle went up and checked out "nemos" ass to see what kind of pants she was wearing. haha it was hysterical. our seats are slightly changed in english and I hate it. mr. gordon was our sub and I tried to get the smart kid from syosset to do my essay cause i didnt wanna. he didnt. then me and joey read one of the passages making fun of it because it sounded like one guy was fucking the other. and then it said something about the first man to discover the north pole and i started screaming that he couldnt because santa wsa the first to discover the north pole because he lives there. in woodworking we watched the worlds most boring video. in math i warmed myself up off the heat on petes face and sucked up to ms wurmbrand. haha i said in my best suck up voice "ms. wurmbrand you're not a day over 22!" haha, okay I found it funny. Then I thought me and Britt were supposed to go to taco bell? so I waited around at my school for her waiting for her to come from the HS and she didnt show. so whatev, we hadnt discussed it in a while so i'm guessing she forgot. On the ride home found out about someone in my grade getting knocked up. sad, eh? really sad. really gross too. really gross. whatever.
I'm on fire and now I think I'm ready to bust a move, check it out I'm rocking steady to the beat in my head goes "oh oh ohh oh" I know that hes the only one.
|
|
Grass stained jeans and incompletes and 9 girls from class to touch
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
xday_time_drama's journal
mellow